23. Alien: Covenant

I've never seen an alien film before. It's clearly not my thing. It's about aliens. It's in space. It's not very realistic. There is potential for lots of mindless gory violence. It's over 2 hours long (2hrs 2mins to be precise).
I was ployed with the promise of Nando's, and to be fair, it wasn't truly awful.

Essentially the film is about a ship of people (and a lovable robot) travelling to a habitable planet to colonise and set up shop, similar to many other space based films I've seen this year. Seriously, where are they all coming from. I said I didn't like space and now space films are all over the show. I can't get rid of them. I'm sure about 20% of all the films I've seen this year are in space.

Anyway.

They come across a planet that's about 7 years closer that they 'must have missed' during research, and decide that will do, and to head for that instead (We all know where this is going). Some members of the crew land on the planet and start to explore, and that's when things start to go wrong. The main ship comes down the the planet to give them a hand (seriously, why did everyone think this was a good idea??) and it all starts kicking off.

Michael Fassbender plays the robot on board the ship, and also the robot from the previous film apparently. Without spoilers, there is a major plot around both his characters. It's all very intense but it comes to a head in a scene where Michael Fassbender 1 is teaching Michael Fassbender 2 how to play the recorder. No idea the relevance, but I couldn't stop laughing. It was true comedy genius, although perhaps not intended. I did wonder at one point that maybe my Tango Ice Blast had been laced with LSD as I really wasn't sure what was going on.

The film was predictable, but I quite liked the ending. It was dark and jumpy and scary, and it did hold my attention throughout the film. I was going in and expecting it to be completely terrible, especially as I assume it's probably about number 40 in the franchise by now. If you like this type of film, if you like the previous films (I assume), then you will enjoy this. There are gruesome bits, and bits where you will jump out of your seat, and I think if you want something that's an easy watch in this sort of genre of film, then it does the trick. Alien: Covenant get's a pretty respectable 7/10 from me.

21. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

It will almost certainly not come to you as a surprise that I have not seen the original Guardians of the Galaxy. For fear of boring you, the reasons for this may include: film came out pre 2015, film looks unrealistic, film is set in space. There is a talking space tree for crying out loud. With idea to broaden my horizons, and because I had had reviews from friends telling me 'actually it's alright' I took one for the cinema team, and this was our film this week.

Obviously, reading this review, you have to know I haven't watched the first film, and am just giving my view of this sequel. I have no idea about any of the characters historys. The premise of the film is for this gang of superhero like characters to a) escape from a planet they have just robbed from, and b) it becomes apparent the main story line is to find the true heritage of main character Peter Quill (Chris Pratt).

The plot is simplistic but it is quite fun, and it has a good message (does it really matter who's genes you share?). The adventure is full of laughs and is bright and vivid, easily captivating attention. The group dynamics are interesting, a will-they-won't-they romance, sibling rivalries, and characters that subtlety dislike each other, but come together well as a team. I thought this was interesting and a potential USP in this franchise, as often in films like this, there is a 'good side' and a 'bad side' and less focus on inter-group behaviours and communication (sorry I actually feel like I'm writing a uni essay discussing that, I'll get back to my normal self now).

The soundtrack to this film is really great. I was looking for a new car CD the other week (yes I am 100 years old and still love a good Compact Disc), and was just browsing the new in section of Amazon Music, and there was the Guardians of the Galaxy Soundtrack everywhere! Download, CD, Vinyl, what was all the fuss about?! Now I know. Great tracks from the 70s fit really well with the story and the action in the film, and bring about that sense of nostalgia, and instil that 'feel good' factor into the audience. I feel like I want to buy the CD now but I am definitely not enough of a GotG fan to buy it - what if people ask me questions about the film, god forbid?

For me, the down points of the film are those action sequences that go on and on and on for no reason, when we all know what the outcome is going to be. I do know that this is the part that some people love, but I do often find this boring, as you probably know. I can see how this would really add to the appeal if Sci-Fi/Fantasy/Action is your thing. Also, I know I mentioned the plot line before and it's simplicity, and it is a simple premise, but the film I feel tried too hard to make it complex with bits of subplot which I just didn't find memorable - I watched this film on Wednesday; it's Sunday today and there are bits that just don't spring out to me already - I'm scratching my head wondering how they spread out this plotline into 2hrs 16mins.

I think if this is your type of thing, it will tick all the boxes for you, and will be a really enjoyable watch, with quirky characters, laughs and a soundtrack that delivers. If you're on the edge, it's definitely not a terrible film, something worth a watch but not something you would watch again. That said I'm not going to knock this film too much, as with all my bias against this film, I still enjoyed it, it features the lovely Chris Pratt, and has a whole sequence choreographed to Fleetwood Mac's 'The Chain'. My rating for GotG Vol. 2 is 6.5/10