I was 'lucky' enough to see Baywatch before it was released to the public, not because I'm a big time blogger, but because I am a Cineworld Unlimited member. I think the fact that I've left it until a day after the release to write my review shows it's distinct bland and averageness. I was jumping out of my seat to slate The Belko Experiment, and I couldn't wait to talk about politics and justice and just how great Get Out was. Baywatch? Not so much.
The story follows Mitch (Dwayne 'THE ROCK' Johnson) and his crew of lifeguards as they have trials for new recruits. Matt Brody (Zac Efron) is on board by default, along with Ronnie (Jon Bass, casted for cheap laughs) and Summer (Alexandra Daddario, casted for incredible body, alongside Kelly Rohrbach and Ilfenesh Hadera). Together old timers try to convince the new recruits that being a life guard is not just about swimming and stopping people from drowning, but something bigger. Mitch tries to convince the ensemble that there are drugs plots and plots to take over the beach front, littered with the deaths of important members of the community.
Amongst Johnson and Efron showboating, and many shots sexualising women's bodies, the story comes to a head in a nightclub, with a silly dance off scene and some fish. The plot is wishy washy and not memorable, yet obvious. The jokes are silly and obscene and cheap. The Rock is The Rock, and Zac Efron is just in it to suggest the film is not just for men to ogle at the women. I feel like the film tried to make the script seem like the women were in it for more than just looking great, but the main plot was clearly all about Matt Brody being great. I feel like it tried to not make it sexist whilst making it overtly sexist and it just didn't wash with me. I'm not hating on women looking great, because damn I am jealous, it's the fact that that is all they were casted for. Why can't women look great, be full of brains, save the day, kill the baddie and be the main focus of a 'comedy' like this? Or is that another story all together?
It still doesn't quiet meet the dismal lows of Sausage Party, but it's simply not a great film. If you like The Rock and silly LAD humour and looking at hot women in swimwear then maybe this film is for you, but I left feeling bemused, like I'd lost a few hours and like I need to lose about 40 stone. Not my favourite. 4.5/10, could try harder.
Tuesday, 30 May 2017
Tuesday, 23 May 2017
23. Alien: Covenant
I've never seen an alien film before. It's clearly not my thing. It's about aliens. It's in space. It's not very realistic. There is potential for lots of mindless gory violence. It's over 2 hours long (2hrs 2mins to be precise).
I was ployed with the promise of Nando's, and to be fair, it wasn't truly awful.
Essentially the film is about a ship of people (and a lovable robot) travelling to a habitable planet to colonise and set up shop, similar to many other space based films I've seen this year. Seriously, where are they all coming from. I said I didn't like space and now space films are all over the show. I can't get rid of them. I'm sure about 20% of all the films I've seen this year are in space.
Anyway.
They come across a planet that's about 7 years closer that they 'must have missed' during research, and decide that will do, and to head for that instead (We all know where this is going). Some members of the crew land on the planet and start to explore, and that's when things start to go wrong. The main ship comes down the the planet to give them a hand (seriously, why did everyone think this was a good idea??) and it all starts kicking off.
Michael Fassbender plays the robot on board the ship, and also the robot from the previous film apparently. Without spoilers, there is a major plot around both his characters. It's all very intense but it comes to a head in a scene where Michael Fassbender 1 is teaching Michael Fassbender 2 how to play the recorder. No idea the relevance, but I couldn't stop laughing. It was true comedy genius, although perhaps not intended. I did wonder at one point that maybe my Tango Ice Blast had been laced with LSD as I really wasn't sure what was going on.
The film was predictable, but I quite liked the ending. It was dark and jumpy and scary, and it did hold my attention throughout the film. I was going in and expecting it to be completely terrible, especially as I assume it's probably about number 40 in the franchise by now. If you like this type of film, if you like the previous films (I assume), then you will enjoy this. There are gruesome bits, and bits where you will jump out of your seat, and I think if you want something that's an easy watch in this sort of genre of film, then it does the trick. Alien: Covenant get's a pretty respectable 7/10 from me.
I was ployed with the promise of Nando's, and to be fair, it wasn't truly awful.
Essentially the film is about a ship of people (and a lovable robot) travelling to a habitable planet to colonise and set up shop, similar to many other space based films I've seen this year. Seriously, where are they all coming from. I said I didn't like space and now space films are all over the show. I can't get rid of them. I'm sure about 20% of all the films I've seen this year are in space.
Anyway.
They come across a planet that's about 7 years closer that they 'must have missed' during research, and decide that will do, and to head for that instead (We all know where this is going). Some members of the crew land on the planet and start to explore, and that's when things start to go wrong. The main ship comes down the the planet to give them a hand (seriously, why did everyone think this was a good idea??) and it all starts kicking off.
Michael Fassbender plays the robot on board the ship, and also the robot from the previous film apparently. Without spoilers, there is a major plot around both his characters. It's all very intense but it comes to a head in a scene where Michael Fassbender 1 is teaching Michael Fassbender 2 how to play the recorder. No idea the relevance, but I couldn't stop laughing. It was true comedy genius, although perhaps not intended. I did wonder at one point that maybe my Tango Ice Blast had been laced with LSD as I really wasn't sure what was going on.
The film was predictable, but I quite liked the ending. It was dark and jumpy and scary, and it did hold my attention throughout the film. I was going in and expecting it to be completely terrible, especially as I assume it's probably about number 40 in the franchise by now. If you like this type of film, if you like the previous films (I assume), then you will enjoy this. There are gruesome bits, and bits where you will jump out of your seat, and I think if you want something that's an easy watch in this sort of genre of film, then it does the trick. Alien: Covenant get's a pretty respectable 7/10 from me.
Saturday, 13 May 2017
22. Mindhorn
When I first saw the trailer for this film, I honestly couldn't contain my excitement - I think if you saw the trailer and had the same opinion, you won't be disappointed. However, I do think that you have to 'get' a certain type of humour/comedy style to enjoy it. I love alternative/surreal comedy, so just the thought of something with Julian Barratt AND Steve Coogan is like my dream. I then also realised Russell Tovey was in the film and I was even more excited.
The plot follows Richard Thorncroft (Barratt), who is a failing actor dreaming of any work bigger than a toothpaste advert. His biggest role was as the title character in 80s detective series 'Mindhorn'. Mindhorn's USP is the fact he can see the truth. Thorncroft's agent sorts him out with a job helping the police - there's a killer on the loose on the Isle of Man (Mindhorn's hometown), and he is proposing he will only speak to Mindhorn, despite him being fictional. Thorncroft travels to the island, meeting old flames and work mates whilst trying to solve the murder and catch the killer.
The film was everything I wanted it to be, it was funny, silly, you could even say there was a plot twist - it was truly great and I couldn't stop laughing. I'd honestly watch it again right now, and very few films I feel like I could watch over and over in close proximity. I know in a lot of my reviews I talk about things like morals and character development and interactions and all that rubbish, but there isn't much to say about this film. It simply does what it says on the tin, and it executes it really well. Barratt is so good at playing the 'uncool' character trying to play it cool - Coogan is great as the rival costar. Thorncroft's old stuntman is played by Simon Faranby (who also co-wrote the screenplay with Barratt) - if you are a Boosh fan you may recognise him- and he is excellent part of an interesting love triangle, throwing hilarious insults in Thorncroft's direction.
Mindhorn really did live up to my expectation, it was laugh out loud funny all the way through and just was such a lighthearted easy watch. It hit my idea film time of 1 hour 30 minutes, was full of great comedians and looked like they must have had a great time filming it. My one criticism would be that it wasn't quite as good as Alan Partridge:Alpha Papa. That may be because we are so familiar with Alan, and he is already a character who we know and love, whereas Thorncroft & Mindhorn are totally new. With that, I urge you to watch both - and I give Mindhorn a solid 9/10! (If you don't like this type of film/comedy though, I feel like you may sit all the way through the film wondering what's going on)
The plot follows Richard Thorncroft (Barratt), who is a failing actor dreaming of any work bigger than a toothpaste advert. His biggest role was as the title character in 80s detective series 'Mindhorn'. Mindhorn's USP is the fact he can see the truth. Thorncroft's agent sorts him out with a job helping the police - there's a killer on the loose on the Isle of Man (Mindhorn's hometown), and he is proposing he will only speak to Mindhorn, despite him being fictional. Thorncroft travels to the island, meeting old flames and work mates whilst trying to solve the murder and catch the killer.
The film was everything I wanted it to be, it was funny, silly, you could even say there was a plot twist - it was truly great and I couldn't stop laughing. I'd honestly watch it again right now, and very few films I feel like I could watch over and over in close proximity. I know in a lot of my reviews I talk about things like morals and character development and interactions and all that rubbish, but there isn't much to say about this film. It simply does what it says on the tin, and it executes it really well. Barratt is so good at playing the 'uncool' character trying to play it cool - Coogan is great as the rival costar. Thorncroft's old stuntman is played by Simon Faranby (who also co-wrote the screenplay with Barratt) - if you are a Boosh fan you may recognise him- and he is excellent part of an interesting love triangle, throwing hilarious insults in Thorncroft's direction.
Mindhorn really did live up to my expectation, it was laugh out loud funny all the way through and just was such a lighthearted easy watch. It hit my idea film time of 1 hour 30 minutes, was full of great comedians and looked like they must have had a great time filming it. My one criticism would be that it wasn't quite as good as Alan Partridge:Alpha Papa. That may be because we are so familiar with Alan, and he is already a character who we know and love, whereas Thorncroft & Mindhorn are totally new. With that, I urge you to watch both - and I give Mindhorn a solid 9/10! (If you don't like this type of film/comedy though, I feel like you may sit all the way through the film wondering what's going on)
Sunday, 7 May 2017
21. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
It will almost certainly not come to you as a surprise that I have not seen the original Guardians of the Galaxy. For fear of boring you, the reasons for this may include: film came out pre 2015, film looks unrealistic, film is set in space. There is a talking space tree for crying out loud. With idea to broaden my horizons, and because I had had reviews from friends telling me 'actually it's alright' I took one for the cinema team, and this was our film this week.
Obviously, reading this review, you have to know I haven't watched the first film, and am just giving my view of this sequel. I have no idea about any of the characters historys. The premise of the film is for this gang of superhero like characters to a) escape from a planet they have just robbed from, and b) it becomes apparent the main story line is to find the true heritage of main character Peter Quill (Chris Pratt).
The plot is simplistic but it is quite fun, and it has a good message (does it really matter who's genes you share?). The adventure is full of laughs and is bright and vivid, easily captivating attention. The group dynamics are interesting, a will-they-won't-they romance, sibling rivalries, and characters that subtlety dislike each other, but come together well as a team. I thought this was interesting and a potential USP in this franchise, as often in films like this, there is a 'good side' and a 'bad side' and less focus on inter-group behaviours and communication (sorry I actually feel like I'm writing a uni essay discussing that, I'll get back to my normal self now).
The soundtrack to this film is really great. I was looking for a new car CD the other week (yes I am 100 years old and still love a good Compact Disc), and was just browsing the new in section of Amazon Music, and there was the Guardians of the Galaxy Soundtrack everywhere! Download, CD, Vinyl, what was all the fuss about?! Now I know. Great tracks from the 70s fit really well with the story and the action in the film, and bring about that sense of nostalgia, and instil that 'feel good' factor into the audience. I feel like I want to buy the CD now but I am definitely not enough of a GotG fan to buy it - what if people ask me questions about the film, god forbid?
For me, the down points of the film are those action sequences that go on and on and on for no reason, when we all know what the outcome is going to be. I do know that this is the part that some people love, but I do often find this boring, as you probably know. I can see how this would really add to the appeal if Sci-Fi/Fantasy/Action is your thing. Also, I know I mentioned the plot line before and it's simplicity, and it is a simple premise, but the film I feel tried too hard to make it complex with bits of subplot which I just didn't find memorable - I watched this film on Wednesday; it's Sunday today and there are bits that just don't spring out to me already - I'm scratching my head wondering how they spread out this plotline into 2hrs 16mins.
I think if this is your type of thing, it will tick all the boxes for you, and will be a really enjoyable watch, with quirky characters, laughs and a soundtrack that delivers. If you're on the edge, it's definitely not a terrible film, something worth a watch but not something you would watch again. That said I'm not going to knock this film too much, as with all my bias against this film, I still enjoyed it, it features the lovely Chris Pratt, and has a whole sequence choreographed to Fleetwood Mac's 'The Chain'. My rating for GotG Vol. 2 is 6.5/10
Obviously, reading this review, you have to know I haven't watched the first film, and am just giving my view of this sequel. I have no idea about any of the characters historys. The premise of the film is for this gang of superhero like characters to a) escape from a planet they have just robbed from, and b) it becomes apparent the main story line is to find the true heritage of main character Peter Quill (Chris Pratt).
The plot is simplistic but it is quite fun, and it has a good message (does it really matter who's genes you share?). The adventure is full of laughs and is bright and vivid, easily captivating attention. The group dynamics are interesting, a will-they-won't-they romance, sibling rivalries, and characters that subtlety dislike each other, but come together well as a team. I thought this was interesting and a potential USP in this franchise, as often in films like this, there is a 'good side' and a 'bad side' and less focus on inter-group behaviours and communication (sorry I actually feel like I'm writing a uni essay discussing that, I'll get back to my normal self now).
The soundtrack to this film is really great. I was looking for a new car CD the other week (yes I am 100 years old and still love a good Compact Disc), and was just browsing the new in section of Amazon Music, and there was the Guardians of the Galaxy Soundtrack everywhere! Download, CD, Vinyl, what was all the fuss about?! Now I know. Great tracks from the 70s fit really well with the story and the action in the film, and bring about that sense of nostalgia, and instil that 'feel good' factor into the audience. I feel like I want to buy the CD now but I am definitely not enough of a GotG fan to buy it - what if people ask me questions about the film, god forbid?
For me, the down points of the film are those action sequences that go on and on and on for no reason, when we all know what the outcome is going to be. I do know that this is the part that some people love, but I do often find this boring, as you probably know. I can see how this would really add to the appeal if Sci-Fi/Fantasy/Action is your thing. Also, I know I mentioned the plot line before and it's simplicity, and it is a simple premise, but the film I feel tried too hard to make it complex with bits of subplot which I just didn't find memorable - I watched this film on Wednesday; it's Sunday today and there are bits that just don't spring out to me already - I'm scratching my head wondering how they spread out this plotline into 2hrs 16mins.
I think if this is your type of thing, it will tick all the boxes for you, and will be a really enjoyable watch, with quirky characters, laughs and a soundtrack that delivers. If you're on the edge, it's definitely not a terrible film, something worth a watch but not something you would watch again. That said I'm not going to knock this film too much, as with all my bias against this film, I still enjoyed it, it features the lovely Chris Pratt, and has a whole sequence choreographed to Fleetwood Mac's 'The Chain'. My rating for GotG Vol. 2 is 6.5/10
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